We Kicked Your Ass in Ww2 and Well Do It Again
Barry Badrinath: I wish it were winter and so we could freeze it into ice blocks and skate on it and melt it in the leap time and drink information technology!
Barry Badrinath: I was in Thailand playing ping-pong in Ding Dang. I was in a existent high stakes game in some opium den. Turns out the guys I was playing aren't the kind of guys who similar to lose. Later I trounce 'em, they shell me. Worked me over pretty good. And this is hard to say... they held me down and shoved a ping-pong paddle upwards my donkey. It's never been the same. Damaged goods.
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Gosh, Barry, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I would exercise if someone shoved a paddle handle upwards my ass.
Barry Badrinath: Information technology wasn't the handle. I've been shitting pancakes always since.
Bully Gam Gam: Mr. Badrinath... we are not so different, you and I. I've had all kinds of things shoved upward my ass. I got over it. You will, too.
[puts a comforting hand on Barry's shoulder]
Swell Gam Gam: Y'all will, too.
Barry Badrinath: Back the fuck up, Antonio! My dick!... My apologies, now 5 dollars to touch it while I touch my toes, 6 dollars to touch information technology while I affect your... Hey Jan and Todd... and Fink? Hey looking expert, Finky!
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: You lot too, Barry.
Gunter: He stole information technology und now instead of Deutschland's greatest beer nosotros merely have 4th best behind Steiner Marzen, Radeburger, und... und...
Rolf: Und Beck'south?
Gunter: Und Beck's? Ja und Beck'south!
Barry Badrinath: Why don't we get you lot out those wet dress, and into a dry out martini.
Great Gam Gam: I ever sleep better with a little sausage in me.
Krista Krundle: [during sex] Landfill #2, y'all are twice the homo Landfill #one was!
Barry Badrinath: Hey Todd. About the one-time girlfriend. Can we bury the hatchet, buddy?
Todd Wolfhouse: I don't know.
Barry Badrinath: I mean it was a 1 dark stand, right? I mean she wasn't even that good looking. A real dead fish, right? She but laid at that place and took it like a plastic fuck doll.
Todd Wolfhouse: I happened to have MARRIED that plastic fuck doll!
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: You know, I got an idea. I call up it might work. I did this study in college: Finklestein'south Theory on the Effects of Alcohol on the Medial Temporal Lobe.
Gil: English!
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Drunken recollect. I made people drinkable massive quantities of booze, so I taught them things while they were blacked out. Now, in the forenoon, they had no recollection of it whatever. Simply when I got them drunkard once again, they remembered everything.
Barry Badrinath: [pretends to cough] Bullshit!
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Oh, now you're coming afterwards me? This is not bad. I got a cowboy on one side, an Indian on the other. It'southward like the Wild Westward, all right? I got it published.
Barry Badrinath: Where?
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Maxim magazine, under the championship "E Equals MC Hammered".
Barry Badrinath: [breaking the fourth wall after he had a drunken dark of sex with Cerise]
Barry Badrinath: [scoffs] Come on, I knew it the whole time!
Jan Wolfhouse: So aye, I heard you lot got fired from the brewery?
Landfill: [Landfill gets mad, throws his trophy] God damn brewery! Yous know that brewery makes 10,000 bottles of beer a day. I drinkable 45 of them, and I'm the asshole!
Barry Badrinath: [after drinking Ram'southward piss] Oh man, that's the most icky thing I've ever drank.
Landfill: I doubt that very much, playboy
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: I'm gonna puke! Hey guys... I don't think sitting on a rooftop drinking ram's piss is the manner to go. Nosotros should become out there, and mix information technology up with some randoms.
Barry Badrinath: Yeah.
Landfill: Let'southward get bombed!
[anybody cheers]
Barry Badrinath: [about Groovy Gam Gam] All I'grand saying is... that whore thing could be a real possibility. Some of my best friends are whores.
Jan Wolfhouse: We know, Barry.
[after sinking dozens of quarters effectually the bar]
Barry Badrinath: [slightly slurred] I'thousand improve when I'yard drunk!
Otto: It was ze greatest beer in all ze vorld!
Gil: Let's get sour on some Krauts!
Gunter: [looking at a cuckoo clock, which originated in Bavaria] Za fuck is zat?
Not bad Gam Gam: [seeing January's black center] What happened to you lot?
Jan Wolfhouse: Oh, I, uh, accidentally walked into a wall... the Berlin Wall...
Todd Wolfhouse: This is that moment that only exists in sports - where the coach gives a oral communication on the jumbotrom to go the hometown fans fired upwardly! We're the bad guys and they're the skillful guys, and I'll be damned if we allow the skilful guys win!
Barry Badrinath: Uh, we're the good guys and they're the bad guys...
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: I'll show yous how to chug a beer, motherfucker, yous fat fuckin' cow. L'Chaim!
[gain to potable a one-half-empty bullpen]
Landfill: Uh oh! I call back somebody's trying to chug in my confront!
Todd Wolfhouse: [after trying the beer] What's wrong?
Jan Wolfhouse: This means Neat Gam Gam really was a whore.
Todd Wolfhouse: [thinks about information technology for a second, and then runs off with his ears covererd] LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA...
Carmine: I'm gonna break your dick off!
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Oh that'southward rich! I've got a cowboy on 1 side and an Indian on the other! It's like the wild w!
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Nathan Cornwell has simply discovered Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. Large circular of applause people, large round of adulation.
Barry Badrinath: [afterwards breaking beer mug with a ping pong spike] What do you lot call up about that, fuckhead?
Hammacher: [Takes a bite of drinking glass from the cleaved mug] What do you recall well-nigh that, headfuck?
Hammacher: Information technology's time to scheisse, or become off ze crapper.
[as Barry, Fink, Jan, Landfill, and Todd enter a house where dozens of teenagers are partying, the youngsters autumn silent equally they observe the five older men joining them]
Viking Main: Hey! Who ordered the Queer Eye makeover?
[the kids burst out laughing, but the older men merely smirk]
Jan Wolfhouse: Double or nil!
Wolfgang von Wolfhaus: On what, huh?
Jan Wolfhouse: The von Wolfhausen family recipe. You win, you go to keep it. We win, we get your brewery. Or should I say our brewery?
Wolfgang von Wolfhaus: Just we already have the recipe!
[Wolfgang pulls out a disc given to him by Cherry, who laughs with the rest of the Germans]
Blood-red: I got it off the nerd's reckoner. Hahahaha! You're fucked!
Rolf: Aye, you're fucked.
[Fink bursts out laughing]
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: That's rich, Baron.
Wolfgang von Wolfhaus: What's so funny?
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: I didn't put that recipe on my figurer. However, y'all are holding the recipe for a low-carb strawberry beer. We call it She-Wolf. It's okay.
Wolfgang von Wolfhaus: Strawberry?
[Wolfgang contemptuously turns toward Ruby-red and claps his easily]
Ruby: No, no, yous know how you lot like strawberries, and you want me to lose weight, so that was the low carbs... Await a minute, nosotros like strawberries! Get your damn hands off! You're trying to see my panties! Goddamnit, put me down, please! Where are the Africans! Can the Africans come up assistance me? Jesus!
[Gunshots are fired offscreen equally Wolfgang'southward goons kill Cherry for bringing him the incorrect recipe]
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: [Speaking at Landfill'due south funeral] Landfill could eat a ton, but he could likewise beloved a ton. He had this habit of swallowing his food whole. I called him "The Tiger Shark." I used to joke that if you cutting open up his belly, you lot would discover a license plate and a tire and one-half of an 8-year-old male child. In one case, he farted an unabridged plum. I was plum surprised. I ever tried to tell him to chew his food better simply... he never listened to me. Simply that was Landfill. He was a fat asshole. But, um, he was my fat asshole.
Inga: [from trailer] Come across you in the next round, boys. We are going to spank yous!
[Inga'south teammate slaps her behind with a paddle]
Landfill: Who's Barry Badrinath? Who's Barry Badrinath? Who'southward Barry Badrinath? Who'due south Barry Badrinath? Who's Barry Badrinath? Who's Barry Badrinath? Who's Barry Badrinath?
Todd Wolfhouse: Jim Tobleson said they chosen in a hostage negotiator
Landfill: Jim Tobleson's a fucking Communicative Cathy! I did my three years up at the county pen. Made some friends, went Muslim. Now I'thousand out, praise Allah.
Barry Badrinath: [upon waking up afterward the first night of grooming, with blood all over his face, next to a deer with its pharynx ripped out] Oh no, not once again!
Otto: [Refering to Fink] Ya information technology looks like his caput is covered in pubic hair
[laughs]
Otto: but it'south ok information technology works, ya, cause you've got a dickface.
Otto: [most Johan] He then fled to America with his mother, a common Bavarian... huh? What is the Englishword I'chiliad looking for? WHORE!
Todd Wolfhouse: Gam Gam a whore? I think something must have been lost in the translation.
Otto: HOOKER! PROSTITUTE! SLUT FOR Money!
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Come on, guys. I'm a respected member of the scientific community. I've been published in four journals.
Landfill: Which one? Toad Load Weekly?
Cherry: How many licks does it have to get to the center?
Jan Wolfhouse: And here's something else yous forgot to cistron in - we're not that drunk.
Pim Scutney: Did you hear that everybody? They said they're not that drunk! Cheeky bastards!
Crowd: [shouting forth] They're non that drunk! They're not that drunk! They're non that drunk!
Otto: Yeah, you Americans, why don't yous become back to strip malls und drink your Zimas and Smirnoff Ices!
Todd Wolfhouse: [to Germans during a beer pong lucifer] Loser takes a paddle upward the ass.
Gil: Looks like we got the Brits in round 1. Nosotros already kicked their asses in WWII. Cheer-i-o, allow's practice it again!
Landfill: [mocking Fink with Popo] It's fwustwating, information technology's fwustwating.
Jan Wolfhouse: Where are y'all taking him?
[Two shots of a gun]
Otto: He is of no concern to you.
Wolfgang von Wolfhaus: It appears it is time to initiate Operation Recipe Retrieve.
[all cheer]
Gunter: Is that the title nosotros all agreed on? I kind of like Operation Stein Grab.
Rolf: Or what about Brauheist 2006?
Gunter: Oh, that'south a proficient one.
Rolf: Ja, it's kind of spunky.
Gunter: Ja, information technology'southward fun.
Otto: Despite your thievery, nosotros are prepared to buy it from you correct now... in cash.
[opens suitcase of euros]
Jan Wolfhouse: Big bargain. A suitcase full of monopoly money.
Schlemmer: Come up on, those are euros.
Landfill: What's that, like pesos?
Otto: That is legal European tender!
Rolf: I told yous we should take brought Deutsch marks.
Gunter: But they are so difficult to find!
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Source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0486551/quotes/qt1147920
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